Why women won't hold the Priesthood

The title of this post is incredibly controversial today, and it shouldn't be.  I honestly don't address things like this, but I feel compelled to do so.  The truth is, we live in a society that changes its ideas on morality, ideology and spirituality faster than some change their underwear.  But that which is right and true will always be so.  Now I'm not trying to make anyone mad, but I fully expect hate mail.  Do yourself a favor.  Don't post a comment.  Send it directly to me at da82kc@hotmail.com.

Let's get started.  We live in a day where men are sold out.  If you are a man, advertising will do its best to portray you as interested in yourself, some form of sports, being an idiot, impotent....you get the point.  There is a Father's Day holiday, but in its truest form, it is a reason for Sears to have a sale on Craftsman tools.  It is no surprise that in the midst of this attack on men, that we find so many women out there with the view that their husbands are somehow inferior to them.  And, honestly, a lot of men have drank the Kool-Aid and shirk their responsibility as men to be fathers, husbands and honorable priesthood holders.  If I were a betting man, I would wager that a lot of the women in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints who vocally are petitioning for ordination of women to the priesthood see the general apathy of some men as a problem.

Men, there is a problem among us, and we should rise to our duties.  We need to rise to our occasion.  

On the subject of women being ordained to priesthood, let me be frank.  It is not the doctrine of Christ nor his church.  It was not at any time so.  President Gordon B. Hinckley said  “Women do not hold the priesthood because the Lord has put it that way. It is part of His program. Women have a very prominent place in this Church. Men hold the priesthood offices of the Church. But women have a tremendous place in this Church. They have their own organization. It was started in 1842 by the Prophet Joseph Smith, called the Relief Society, because its initial purpose was to administer help to those in need. It has grown to be, I think, the largest women’s organization in the world... They have their own offices, their own presidency, their own board. That reaches down to the smallest unit of the Church everywhere in the world... The men hold the priesthood, yes. But my wife is my companion. In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are co-equals in this life in a great enterprise.”

There is nothing chauvinist about suggesting women cannot be ordained to the priesthood.  In life, those who are male and female have roles that are equally important.  For example, although both a man and a woman are required to conceive a child, the woman is the one who carries the child to term and births the child.  There is something incredibly sacred about that experience.  For nine months, a woman carries that child and of that, a sacred bond is created. I have watched my wife become a mother and carry our children.  She fulfilled a sacred responsibility that not one man could do.  It is important to not diminish the incredibly important opportunity that it is.  Additionally, women act under the direction of the Priesthood in the various auxiliaries in the Church.  Women serve in the church in various callings alongside men, performing the same duties in certain missionary capacities, in teaching capacities and so on.

Men receive the Priesthood to make them more equal to women, in my opinion.  It brings us to their level.  It does not make us superior. When each of us view a marriage as a partnership of two equals, only then can they be made one.

It has been brought to my attention that there is a group of sisters within the church who wish to stage an open protest in the vicinity of the Conference Center during the Priesthood Session of General Conference.  I ask, if you truly sustain the Prophet and the Twelve, how could you do such a thing?  I would submit that such actions are an open attempt by the adversary to try and destroy the Church from the inside out.  Those who lead these groups are just as blinded as Korihor, who in Alma 30:52-53 said, after being shown the sign he demanded, "I know that I am dumb, for I cannot speak; and I know that nothing save it were the  power of God could bring this upon me; yea, and I always  knew that there was a God. But behold, the devil hath  deceived me; for he appeared unto me in the form of an angel, and...yea, and he taught me that which I should say. And I have taught his words; and I taught them because they were pleasing unto the carnal mind; and I taught them, even until I had much success, insomuch that I verily believed that they were true; and for this cause I withstood the truth, even until I have brought this great curse upon me.

I am not asking for these women to sit down and shut up.  I am suggesting that their aspirations are wrong.  I am suggesting that they do not understand the doctrine.  I am suggesting that they are deceived.  I submit that there are flaws to all mortal mankind.  

We have been admonished to be perfect, but cannot do so in this life.  So we have to strive to do our level best to understand and live the doctrine as established by Christ through his Holy prophets.  As we do so, we quickly understand that as long as we each obtain the required saving ordinances, what callings we hold in the Church or supposed notoriety we think we could have matters not at all when we pass through the veil into the spirit world.  What matters is that we receive a testimony of Christ and his gospel and that we make and keep sacred covenants via Priesthood officiated ordinances.  Those who officiate do so as representatives of Christ, following specific revealed procedures. 

How a GM defect can ruin your life, but not mine.

I was working at the local auto parts store on Saturday when a woman entered, 18 month old child in tow.  I asked her if there was something I could do and she collapsed into a gush of tears.  "My car is leaking...I took it in for an oil change and now it is leaking from the transmission and antifreeze....THEY BROKE MY CAR!" she said.

Now, in the past this particular shop she took her car to has done some shady things to other cars.  I won't however name names.  Suffice it to know that it wasn't a Perfect Auto.  This time.  When she cornered them on why the car was leaking they told her it needed an intake gasket and a transmission pan gasket.

I stood there and tried my best to extract as much information as I could to determine what really was wrong.  I asked her if she had oil drips on the ground prior to taking it in.  I asked her if she had had to add coolant before.  She said, yes, she had indeed had to add coolant.  Before I could ask how much she had had to put in and over how long of a period of time this had been going on, she melted down into a tale of woe.  She explained how she had moved from Minnesota, alienated her family ties, moved in with her boyfriend, he dumped her and now she was practically living out of her car with the daughter she conceived with the boyfriend.  She was trying to make money by donating plasma this particular day. However, her friend didn't like being dropped in on at the last minute to watch an 18 month old girl, so she went and got an oil change instead.  This all makes sense right?

I volunteered to go out to her car and see what was going on.  It was a 1999 Buick Century with a 3.1 liter V6 engine.  I observed under the car fresh coolant and that the transmission pan was damp from ATF, but this had to have been going on for some time.  On opening to hood I could squeeze the upper radiator hose and hear a light hiss from the intake manifold.  The other shop was right.  Additionally she admitted to adding coolant, but she said she had never had a visible leak like this.

Truth be told, she has a 3.1 liter GM V6.  If your intake manifold gasket isn't leaking now, it soon will.  It is worst when you don't regularly replace the coolant.  The plastic intake gaskets eventually rot out and no longer are capable of holding the pressurized coolant in the passages and it typically will leak into the engine crankcase.  Worst case scenario is from the gasket to outside the head to the ground.  Truthfully it happens long after the original factory warranty has expired, so the manufacturer flatly does not care.  Fel-Pro makes a "Problem Solver" gasket kit to resolve the problem and with that particular gasket in use, it eliminates a lot of the concerns with that engine.

I had no recourse but to give her a card to the shop and the price of the gaskets and send her down the road.  She asked if she could use our restroom to change her daughter's diaper so pointed her to it.  After she got out I handed her a quote for the price of the gasket.  She asked what it would cost to install it.  As I looked up the labor on my phone she went into a rant on how she was unemployed, had little to no money and felt hopeless.  Once I had the price looked up I looked at her and said, "I know that things are tough for you right now.  Have you thought about going the the unemployment office and seeing what programs are available.  I mean you might not qualify for unemployment, but they might be able to help with training or workshops so you could find a job.  If you could make some money it would definitely lift you out of this bad place and help you have a steady home, food to eat, a running car, and a good life for your child."

She looked at me with repulsion.  She told me that work and a job would not help her.  Somebody needed to help her.

I thought about that response for a minute.  That thought is absolutely foreign to me.  Why would I ever put my family through that type of hell?  She was adamant about being saved by the good will of others and free assistance from the government.  And folks, race did not play into this story either.  This woman was fairer skinned than myself.  What played into this was the concept that she was a victim (of her own poor choices) and somehow victims don't need to be accountable for their own poor decisions.  I offered the best advice any person in my position could.  I told her she had control and with some work she could be made whole again.  Her response was pathetic and self indulgent.

I asked her to have a better day and told her she needed to save some money and get her car fixed.  I could have torn into her over a number of things, but I declined.  She bought a gallon of antifreeze, I put it in for her and she left.

But I still fear for the influence that her daughter lives under.

Schmoozing has no place in Business

Schmoozing is a practice best left behind in the somewhat dark ages of customer service.  Yes.  I said it, and there is good reason why.  When I hear that word it naturally conjures up an image of sleazy used car salesmen.  Why, then, would we say when we are out with a customer trying to get their business that we are schmoozing them?

Schmoozing, in my opinion, is a process where we treat the customer as if his only asset or benefit is his money.  Hardly ever is there a genuine business-client relationship built.  The customer gets a superficial "warm and fuzzy" feeling but deep down the only aspect you as the service provider care about is his money and your profit margin.  Sounds pretty shallow doesn't it?  

The problem is that corporate America in general operates this way on a day-to-day basis.  Have you watched a single commercial in the last decade?  For example, I went into a local AutoZone and when I went to check out they tried to push me to buy Techron fuel injector cleaner. The sales person insisted it was the "best."  I kindly refused but was given warnings of how I was neglecting my vehicle maintenance and hurting my car.  I brushed that warning off.  I heard it two months ago when they were trying to peddle Gumout brand injector cleaner and two months before that when they were pushing Lucas fuel cleaner.  If I remember I was told those were the "best" as well.  So which is the best really?

We constantly think sleazy used car sales tactics when we think schmoozing, but I generalize it more as a specific interest in just the money the customer brings to the table.  When we think that way, we leave a lot on the table.  True, the bottom line is important.  Profit and loss is important.  Invoicing and collecting payment is important. The trouble is that at some point a schmoozer is going to be perceived as disingenuous and that is where he gets in trouble. Some businesses will do everything they can to extract as much out of the customer they can monetarily. They try to steer you to high profit products as impulse buys and give you reminders to get everything you need to complete the job. Nothing wrong with this practice, until you have a customer service representative borderline lying to get you to buy something. I consider this schmoozing.

So what is right? First, build a relationship of trust with the customer. When the customer trusts you and you show genuine concern for them, you will steer them to what they need. When you care more about the customer than their money, you will not only earn a fair wage for what you do today, but you will have their trust for as long as you don't damage it. And since you aren't being superficial, you won't do anything to ruin their confidence.

Here's another benefit. Customers can provide you with more than just money. They share with their friends and neighbors about your honesty. They stop by to check on their car and buy lunch for you. They are just a phone call away when you need to use their car in a car show. They can be a creative influence and an honest opinion when you are stuck. There is more, but I think you get the point.

They don't have to be your inner circle of friends. All that is required of you is to be honest and hold fast to your principles. You need to act as a professional and avoid being a schmoozer. Some folks think it takes special means to do this, but in reality it is just that simple. Maybe that is why so many people are schmoozers and wonder how they don't have good customer service skills.

Additionally some folks fear being honest will drive people away since in certain circumstances what the customer needs at the time might be expensive. They rationalize that the customer needs to be brought down slowly and maybe a little white lie inserted into the spiel will help lends credence to the story. I was told this by people I used to know. The truth is, you don't bluntly approach in that case. You lay out the facts and how you came to the conclusion. You act in honesty. If your customer rejects what is needed after that and they trust you, then they don't have the means to do what they need to have done. Plain and simple. In fact you might have earned a long standing customer just for being so honest, though maybe not at that moment.

So be customer service oriented and try being honest. I can say that I'm always working at this. I am in no means a perfect person, but I pledge to do this better as the days go by.

How to live better without feeling stupid

This time of year always leaves me with a sense of resentment.  I, like most Christians, welcome the celebration of the birth of Christ (regardless of when the actual date of the birth occurred.)  Despite what the season signifies, a vast majority drive this season ever more over an over commercialized cliff.  I mean, it seems we spend so much time worrying about what gift to get whom and how to top last year.  Often times it gets so bad we don't even know if something simple would ever suffice.

This is largely due to our entire societal view.  Don't just blame business for the commercialized chaos.  Consumers drive retailers and they drive manufacturers to do stupid things too.  I can't begin to tell you how it kills me inside each time I see a stack-train full of cheap, Chinese plastic goods pulls through town.  I think about how much of those products are so disposable and how quickly it is that after the grandeur of the item fades we toss it aside as common garbage.

I think that is why I refuse to be the father that has to provide his children with the latest and greatest.  I love technology, in fact I embrace it with arms wide-open.  I also accept that my three-year-old probably can disintegrate a Kindle Fire HD tablet faster than Grave Digger the monster truck can crush a beat-up car.  I want my kids to appreciate technology and all the good things this world has to offer.  All things have their time.

Several years ago my wife and I bought netbook computers.  We decided that our old hand-me-down desktop was about the give-up the ghost so the funds were allocated an we both got matching computers.  We got two refurbished units because we could afford them and we didn't need the finest there is.  I'm composing this blog on that same computer.  Now, I admit, it has died before.  The motherboard fried after Powerade soaked the keyboard and the hard drive died when it fell off a workbench at, well, uh, work.  Each time it broke, I elected to repair rather than replace, but that is my nature.

Wear out, use up, do with or do without.

Kind of a funny saying, but it fits my lifestyle well because it is not only practical but sustainable.  I've made the credit card mistake before.  I've lived beyond my means and frankly it sucks.  Tell me how much you love all those gizmos you bought when the bill arrives and it's not easy to pay.  I mean great, if you can genuinely afford lavishness, go on ahead with my blessing.  But understand I don't envy what I don't have, I take joy in that some people can have things that I don't have.  Just remember that I have talents and abilities that you don't have and when your precious automobile breaks, for example, I'll be the one you trust to fix it.  I'm good with that.

I still drive the same truck I bought in High School; an 1982 Datsun pickup.  Why?  Because I want to prove a point.  I will spend far less in time and money keeping it going than I will financing a car I can't currently afford.  I have a talent to fix cars and I'm not afraid to use it.  I mean I tallied up the numbers and I have spent close to $7000 on it in 15 years.  Somebody, shocked, exclaimed "Why would you spend $7000 on that!"  Well, that's just under $500 a year.  What kind of car can I finance for $38.88 a month?   That comment came from somebody driving a car that they can hardly afford the car payment for.

I accept that there are folks out there who will never be able to keep a car 15 years, nor should everybody.  But we should get away from the habit of upgrading simply because we have to have the latest and greatest and not because what we have doesn't meet our needs anymore or soon will not.  We need to get out of the habit of stressing ourselves financially because our neighbors just got the latest digital TV package and now have 500 channels with nothing on but a stack of endless commercials urging us to expend our resources further.  Get my point?

Instead, I'd rather get out and do something.  Get my hands dirty.  Build something I can be proud of that is my latest and greatest.  Go out and see places I've never been before.  Doesn't that seem so empowering?  Maybe if I had the latest smart phone, instead of texting the person I'm sitting is the same house with, I could use the GPS and go geo-caching.  Put that new technology to work.  Save the Wii for a rainy day or sick day and get out and do something.  If your car breaks, get it fixed.  Heck, if it's fairly simple (and you have time), do it yourself.  (Just don't get in too far over your head.)

My point drives towards something fundamental.  We can't just consume and expect society will get better.  We have to get back to basic core fundamentals.  For those who celebrate Christmas, we should include a whole lot more Christ in it.  In the most basic form Christianity believes that the Christ child was a gift from God to show us the path to live with him again and pave the way and make it possible for that to happen.

Some readers here may not believe in Christ.  I grant you that and hold it against none, but I do and for my own special reasons.  I would ask you to take the most basic form of what I laid out above and use that as the formula for what kind of gifts you should give.  Give gifts that represent your genuine respect and support, and that help lift and pave the way for others to succeed.  Is that really so bad?  Frankly, presents aside,  I'm just happy to be alive and surrounded by my family come Christmas Day.

May your season be bright!

Custom, right?

Back when I was younger and dumber I found myself caught up in the auto styling mania that followed the first Fast and Furious film.  Those days seemed to be filled with a craze of dress-up items you could practically buy in most any store.  The most hilarious products (which also were most popular) were the least useful. I remember seeing kits that had stickers you could put over where you wanted light to pass through on your headlights so you could paint the rest, effectively rendering your headlights useless.  Of those, the colored hose and sleeving kits for dressing up the under hood caught my eye.  Blue and Red were most popular, but my preference was the yellow, which happened to go on clearance when I started working at an auto parts store.

Out I went to the truck and used every scrap of the dress-up kit to "beautify" and "customize" my engine bay.  The results were surely not show-worthy but my pride remained.  Eventually I did show underneath the hood to someone who introduced me to the term 'ricer.'   

I was offended. 

I had spent a lot of time getting that together.  I thought it looked good.  Everybody else was doing it.  But it was exactly not what I wanted.  It was not custom.  Somebody once used the phrase "polish a turd and its still a turd."  I had done nothing to improve performance, function, or (even questionably) appearance.

Since that time custom has taken on a new meaning for me.  I have learned that putting in things that don't belong with the deception of originality is custom.  I found that engineering custom parts with the same mindset is very custom.  These days, custom can be subtle and it can also be glaringly obvious, but hardly obnoxious to avoid being 'ricer.'

And so, as my professional career continues, I remain stalwart to the conviction of never being called a ricer again.

...and in the beginning there was one white truck

July 6th, 1997  marks an important and pivotal day in my life for it was on that day I picked up my 1982 Datsun from it's former owner.  I frankly didn't have a clue about the outcome that one day would have.  My excitement over the matter was too much for me, a 15 year old, to really feel very prophetic.

The summer of 1997 was one of great growth for me.  I was supposed to visit my grandparents, help my grandpa rebuild a 1968 Datsun truck and then drive it back to Nevada as my own.  In May those plans were frustrated when he had a severe stroke that left him paralyzed and unable to work at all.  My parents asked if I even wanted to go at all.  I responded with a yes and knew I'd be in for a tough summer.

Since the object of my trip was to acquire a vehicle to drive as my "first car" Grandma and I began looking for one.  I wanted a small 4x4 truck, and had a list of 4x4 Nissans, Datsuns and Toyotas pulled from the Nickel's Worth that we called on.  Grandma didn't care whether it was a 4x4 or not, but she agreed I should get a small pickup truck.

After several viewings, we found a listing that read "1982 Datsun King Cab  Runs Good $800 OBO".  When we went to find the said truck, we didn't find it.  I rejoiced because what I really wanted was a 4x4.  Strange as it may seem, we ended up calling the guy back when we discovered the truck had not been taken off the listings.  Kei Freidricks met us at his home in Coeur D' Alene, ID and showed us the vehicle July, 5th.  I warmed up to it when I saw how clean it was on the inside.  My impression of the truck instantly changed.  After a short period of dickering the truck was sold for $650.  I promised my grandma I'd pay back every penny and more.

July 6th was the day we got it home.  I was truly excited, but that was when the work began.  It had 151,000 miles on it, but still needed a lot of work.  Lights were broken out, bulbs blown out and it needed an oil change badly.  This is where my knowledge of cars grew from.  At some point during the summer my Grandma called my shop teacher and enrolled me in his Auto classes, though I had decided to keep automotive as only a hobby.  From those things a career blossomed, and one that has blessed the lives of many people.

After a while, I continued tinkering on the old truck.  I soon decided to do a 4x4 swap and converted the truck to 4 wheel drive at the age of 17.  By the age of 18 I had rewired the truck, added A/C (I still use the same system and compressor) and a host of other goodies.  I converted the truck to EFI upon my return home from Brazil in 2004 and even trubocharged the truck for about a year from 2010-11.

Few people can brag about a vehicle like I can.  The truck has hosted many important events of my life. I went all over creation with my grandfather in that truck and he became one of the closest friends to me.  I drove my first road trip alone for 26 hours in that truck at age 17.  I got to know the woman I eventually married on a road trip back home from Salt Lake City in the truck.   I can't remember how many times I would go out, drive somewhere and take my most pressing problems and work them out while driving the truck.

More so than that, how many people out there can honestly say they still have the same vehicle they owned in high school, put 190,000 miles on it and it still is there used as a daily driver?  The truck survived a male teenager, collision with a deer, multiple mechanical changes, broken leaf spring, off-roading, turbocharging, abuse of teaching a wife to drive "stick," towing a number of really heavy loads, Nevada summers and still much more.

To say I'm proud of my 1982 Datsun truck is an understatement.  There are some out there who have suggested the truck has become more than it should.  Some have even insinuated that it is just a "thing, and things don't bring happiness.  True, things do not bring happiness, but the truck is really more of a place than a thing.  It's a place, not so much a thing.  It's my happy place, the place I go when I need somewhere to go to relax and get answers.

But none of this would not have happened without the day July 6th, 1997

The Money Pit

I've been pondering the last few months and recently thought a lot about how my life relates to the movie "The Money Pit."  Those of you who may not be familiar have the convenience of using www.google.com to find out what I'm talking about.  Needless to say, after you get familiar with the movie, you'll understand the rest of what I'm about to say.

If you've been following the blog, you'll see that my vehicle fortunes are not great right now.  I'd like to consider myself "challenged" right now.  Of course the big issue is with everything I drive as it seems they all are cursed.  In fact, I'd go as far as to say that if it is a car and I drive it, expect something major to go wrong.  

With the above thought on my mind, I decided to take a different approach.  Pondering on my fortunes and the personal desire to get into better shape, I readied my bike and prepared to ride my bicycle to work.  I intend this to become a regular function of my week too.

I got my old bike from Mom and Dad's house, were it has been sitting under the abuse of the elements for some time.  After some wrenching and liberal use of WD40, I had a bike ready to test-ride.  The test went well for about half a block, when at such point the chain broke and halted my journey.  I returned home.

A new chain later and I was ready to embark on this momentous journey.  The ride is about seven miles and is uphill most the way.  I decided to pace myself and not try to rush right out of the gate as I don't want to be too hard on myself right now.  Upon departure, I realized how much I really did miss riding my bike.

The climb was tough at the 2/3 point and from there on.  My legs burned and my butt reeled in pain as the hard plastic seat (covered in duct tape of course) carved a spot out with every undulation of the road.  

At the five mile point I felt a bump in the rear tire.  With every rotation there was a thud and the sound of something rubbing against the frame.  I looked down only to see what I perceived as some object stuck to the tire.

When I got to a point to dismount from the bike I saw what I could only describe as amazing - I had blown a bicycle tire!  Forget about the apparent impossibility.  Forget that at no point did this bike pass faster than 35 mph.  Right then and there I began to laugh hysterically.

You see, I referred to the movie "the Money Pit."  In it, the main character and his wife buy a beautiful house that they discover later is a gold plated piece of septic waste.  As they discover more problems, the husband goes about the business of actually fixing the house, but soon finds it overwhelming to fix the house and keep up his relationship.  In a classic scene when literally everything that could go wrong went wrong, he draws a bath and gets into the tub to take a bath.  A short while later he falls through the floor of the house with the tub down to the main floor.  

And he begins to laugh hysterically.

And so it is, a reminder that the money pits of our lives can either consume us or make us better for them.  I hope to find that after the end of this trial that it is similar to the ending of the movie.  In the end he gets his relationship worked out stronger than ever and they live together in that old beautiful house, fully repaired.

And hopefully all they had to do was keep up on the furnace filters in order to live happily ever after

The End